For today | seriouslysiri's Blog

****Grammar mistake Didnt feel like putting periods                                                              so it's continuous mostly****** 

#1.) So last night I cried for the first time in a LONG time because i couldnt handle the pressure and reason being was because i hadnt talked to him-my friend-I met him during september-and ever since we stared talking and we knew exactly how we felt. We connected on a emotional level and it felt good to know someone I could talk to about ANYTHING and EVERYTHING 

And he got in trouble and got grounded from his computer and phone and He is my friend over the internet but it's not like im in love with him- he just gets me and is like someone I can talk to and he can make me laugh. And now Im starting to fall apart i have nothing to do because i would spend most of my day after school talking to him and my life was going great until he left and now i cry everytime i think he wont talk to me because he got in trouble and i got mad at him for being this is my last day and being a jerk and i got made because he did it to himself and then i said sorry and i wasn't sure if he saw it but what ever and now i just really miss him and i just cry thinking about it and i have no one to talk to at all and now i feel like i will explode over anything that stresses me out i could go to a therapist but like my parents would pay for it and now i just feel alone i just need someone like him and who know how long it will take for me to find someone like him again and not even my friends at school get why i talk to him they try to understand but they arent even real friends because they treat my like dirt but im too nice and forgive them and i have no one else i can talk to that would ever understand me like he did-sure we didnt do the same thing that made us feel that way but we know how we feel like not love dovey feeling just how we felt and how we didnt like it and how we like this or dont like that or how we felt when we were scared or how paranoid we get and how messed up we are but we get throught those things together and just know that and thar he actually does care make me feeel so much better like the weight of the world has just been lifted up and off my shoulder's which I have no idea who but they keep putting it there every singel day and just talking to him is all i need and now he is gone and i cry just thinking about it and i just really miss him and most of the time he thinks i should stop talking to him because he thinks i could do something better with my life which i dont want to i rather talk to him and he thinks it's just better he he stopped talking to him so i could achieve more but little does he know ever since he stopped i just literally lay there in bed or on the couch or wacth tv for hours and hours until what 3 in the morning then go to bed to wake up at 5 am. Im not going to to anything else i just miss him and i need to write this down or something because i cant really tell anyone because they wont get it so it's just better if i write it down because then no one i actually care about their opinion will read it or understand i actually feel .....

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For today, posted November 19th, 2012

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